#43 The Real Reason You Can’t Stop Overthinking (And How to Break Free)

If you’ve ever found yourself stuck in your head…
replaying conversations, second-guessing decisions, or lying awake at night unable to turn your brain off…this episode is for you.

Overthinking is often labeled as “just who you are.”

But what if it’s not your personality…and actually a subconscious pattern that’s been running the show?

In this episode, I’m breaking down:

•  Why overthinking isn’t problem-solving
•  The real root of overthinking (and where it started) 
•  How this pattern is connected to anxiety, stress, and chronic symptoms 
•  Why trying to “think your way out” never works 
•  The exact shifts you need to start breaking free .

This episode will help you to stop living in your head and start creating real change in your body and your life.

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Ready to resolve your chronic symptoms and get your life back? 

 START HERE👉APPLY FOR THE EVOLVE PROGRAM 

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Thanks for listening! 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:04

Welcome to the Rebellious Healer, where we ditch the fear, decode the symptoms, and heal at the root. I'm Jenny Peterson, former holistic practitioner turned Mind Body Rebel. For 20 years, I've helped people get to the root of chronic symptoms by changing the subconscious patterns behind them. If you're done chasing protocols, done outsourcing your power, and ready to get to the root of what's actually driving your symptoms, you're in the right place. Today we're going to tackle something that affects so many of us: overthinking. If you've ever found yourself caught in a never-ending loop of thoughts, playing out scenarios, reliving embarrassing moments, or simply being unable to turn off your brain before bed, then this episode is for you. We're going to unpack why we overthink, what its roots are, how it contributes to chronic health issues, and how we can break free from it. Overthinking, a word many of us can instantly relate to. It's that endless loop in your mind that keeps replaying scenarios, reanalyzing conversations, and second guessing every little detail. It tricks us into thinking we're being productive when in reality we're just stuck. Have you ever had a brilliant idea only to talk yourself out of it because you overthought it to death? You convinced yourself it wouldn't work or that people would judge you, so you never took any action. That's overthinking in a nutshell. It stops you from moving forward and limits your potential. It's not problem solving, it's problem prolonging. You may feel like you're trying to protect yourself from making mistakes or facing uncertainty, but what overthinking really does is keeps you in a state of fear, anxiety, and indecision. I'm sure you've been there, but how do you know for sure if you're an overthinker? Here are seven signs. Number one, you have trouble sleeping because your brain starts replaying everything that happened during the day. Number two, you struggle to make decisions and constantly second guess the ones you've already made. You relive embarrassing moments, obsessing over conversations or experiences long after they're over. You often ask what if or why me questions. Your mind is so busy that it's hard to concentrate. Number six, you try to read between the lines of everything people say, or you're constantly needing reassurance like asking, are you mad at me or did I annoy you? Number seven, you feel paralyzed by thoughts, unable to move forward. If you find yourself nodding along to these, chances are you've fallen into the overthinking trap. So what exactly is overthinking? It's that endless loop in your mind that keeps you stuck. What might take someone else five seconds to decide takes you five days. You look at it from every single angle, overanalyzing and over-complicating, convincing yourself you're being productive when in reality you're just spinning your wheels. But here's the key takeaway: overthinking is a subconscious pattern. Surprise, surprise, I bet you didn't bet I was gonna say that. Like many of the mental habits we struggle with, it always stems from our childhood experiences. Overthinking is not a form of problem solving. Problem solving is action-based and focuses on what you can control, while overthinking is rooted in fear, anxiety, and the need to control the uncontrollable. At its core, overthinking is a defense mechanism, a subconscious habit designed to keep you safe from uncertainty. But here's the problem: rather than protecting you, it traps you in stress and anxiety. So, what is the root cause of overthinking? Well, it started somewhere. You didn't come out of the womb like this. Who you are today, your unconscious behaviors are all subconscious programs. You are not consciously choosing to do this. There are only two reasons why you do this. Number one, it's a learned behavior. This is the monkey see monkey do way. This is where someone that you spent your entire childhood around may have been an overthinker. You saw them overthink everything through their actions and words. Young kids are super smart and they pick up on all of this. As children, we learn how to respond to the world based on this examples set by the adults in our lives. If you had a parent that had anxiety, then you most likely have been passed on this survival pattern. When it's all you've been taught to respond a certain way, then you don't know any different. It becomes your default setting. This is why you will see family members continue to pass on behaviors without even knowing it. The second reason for your overthinking is fear. There is one fear or many fears connected to this kind of response. Whether it's a fear of failure, fear of judgment, or a fear of the unknown, overthinking is often tied to a deep-seated fear that we may not consciously be aware of. You wouldn't be overthinking if you weren't scared of something. This doesn't have to be consciously either. Remember that the subconscious is running the show 90% of the time. So the fear isn't most likely something that you are consciously aware of. So overthinking is often triggered by deeply rooted fears and limiting beliefs that are stuck in our subconscious. At its core, overthinking is a subconscious pattern, a habit formed over time, usually stemming from our childhood. Overthinking like anxiety is rooted in fear. It often arises as a defense mechanism, a way to avoid uncertainty. Our mind thinks that by analyzing every possible outcome, we can prevent something bad from happening. But the truth, overthinking doesn't prevent anything. It just creates more stress. So why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we overthink? It's simple. It gives us the illusion of control. We think if I just think this through enough, maybe I can avoid mistakes. But in reality, all it does is create more anxiety. This behavior is about control, trying to control what's coming next, even before it happens. It's an attempt to avoid pain, rejection, failure, etc. But here's the irony. In our attempt to protect ourselves from the unknown, we end up creating more suffering. The root of our overthinking lies in our subconscious mind. When you were born, you had no preconceived experiences, but as you developed, the relationship you formed, especially with your caregivers, begins to shape your world view. And these early experiences become the foundation of your core values and your belief systems. If those experiences were negative or traumatic, they may have led to limiting beliefs, beliefs that tell you you're not good enough or that the world is unsafe. Over time, your mind replays and rearranges these beliefs, forming a negative internal dialogue, what we call self-talk. Overthinking becomes a pattern of reinforcing these limited beliefs. Your subconscious mind stores all your memories, including the ones you don't consciously recall, and these moments seep into your conscious mind, driving your thoughts and reactions. This is why you overthink, because your subconscious mind is constantly pulling from your past experiences, many of which may be outdated or irrelevant to your current life. Let me share a story to illustrate how overthinking often starts in childhood. Imagine a young girl named Emily. She's around eight years old. Emily is bright and curious, but she grows up in a household where her parents are perfectionists. They love her deeply, but they have high expectations, constantly encouraging her to be the best in everything she does, whether it's her schoolwork, behavior, or sports. Whenever Emily makes a mistake, her parents gently but consistently point it out. They often say things like, What if you would have tried harder or why didn't you think that through more carefully? As a result, Emily starts to become very cautious about everything she does. She begins to worry about making mistakes, fearing that she will disappoint her parents. When she does something wrong, she replays it in her mind over and over again, asking herself questions like, What if I had done this differently? Or why didn't I see this coming? This habit of second-guessing herself grows as she continues going through school. In her teenage years, Emily becomes anxious about making decisions, even small ones like choosing what to wear or whether to attend a social event. She worries about how others will perceive her and begins to over-analyze every interaction. Did she say the wrong thing? Did she upset someone without knowing it? By the time Emily reaches adulthood, her pattern of overthinking is well established. She struggles with making decisions in her career, in relationships, and in everyday life. She often relives embarrassing moments, questioning her worth and hesitates to take risks for fear of failing. Over time, this overthinking becomes a defense mechanism, a way to protect herself from the perceived dangers of making mistakes or being judged. The key word here is perceived dangers. Keep that in mind. And this all started from the well-meaning but perfectionist expectations placed on her as a child. The pressure Emily felt to get everything right created a fear of failure. Her subconscious mind stored those experiences and fears, and over time, they turned into a pattern of overthinking. This story is a reminder that early life experiences shape how we think and react as adults. Recognizing the origins of overthinking is key to breaking free from it. So let's talk about the toll overthinking takes on your health. When you overthink, you're essentially living in a state of anxiety. Your brain is on high alert, constantly preparing for the worst scenario. And this puts your body into a state of fight or flight, a sympathetic nervous system. It's burning up energy and increasing your stress hormones. Overthinking is like pouring gasoline on the fire of anxiety, stress, and depression. It puts your body into a constant state of fight or flight, even though there's no immediate danger. Over time, being in this constant sympathetic state leads to burnout, mental exhaustion, and even physical health issues. Chronic overthinking has been linked to conditions like anxiety, depression, insomnia, and OCD. And it's not surprising that most of our students we work with in MBR are overthinkers. Their brains are constantly on, never in peace, which never gives the body the opportunity to feel safe enough to heal. Instead, it feels like a tiger is chasing them all the time. And all the body wants to do is focus on surviving rather than thriving. When we feed our minds with constant worry and fear, those thoughts eventually manifest into reality. What we think, we become. And that's why it's so important to stop overthinking before it takes over your life. You may also find that overthinking stiffles your creativity and keeps you from taking risks. How many great ideas have you talked yourself out of before even giving them a chance? The more time you spend dwelling on what could go wrong, the less likely you are to take action. So how do you break this cycle of overthinking? Well, it's not a one-step process. There are going to be layers that you need to work on step by step. Remember, this pattern has been with you a long time. There are patterns feeding other patterns that are all tightly woven together to keep you safe. So if you try to rush the process or force it, you will only get resistance. Moving at a safe pace and with the right tools that create a safe space in the subconscious is key. Don't be hard on yourself, give yourself grace and celebrate small victories. Remember that overthinking is unproductive. It causes you to stay stuck. So you have to take action to change it. Here are a few actionable steps that you can take. Number one, step into awareness. Notice when you are overthinking. Don't be shameful about it. Remember it's just an old pattern. Come from a place of curiosity, like you're a kid again being curious about learning. Notice your amazing brain and how it's only doing what it's designed to do, rather than thinking that there is something wrong with you. Get into the habit of journaling, which will help you to build your awareness muscle. Just start writing and see what comes up until you can't write anymore. And you will see your overthinking show up on paper. Number two, reframe the fear. Instead of thinking, what if this goes wrong? Start asking, what if it goes right? Number three, let go of the identity of being an overthinker. You are not defined by your patterns. Remind yourself of this whenever you catch yourself spiraling into overthinking or replying to someone when you're giving them an answer. It's easy to say, oh, I'm just an overthinker. It's who I am. But that's not true. Overthinking is a learned behavior. It's not your identity. I don't suggest you keep it as your identity and know that you can change it. Number four, build trust in you. Overthinking is a sign that you don't trust yourself. Start by taking small risks, acting on your gut instincts, and seeing where they lead. The more you practice, the more confident you'll become in trusting yourself. Building trust in yourself requires action. You can't sit there and repeat affirmations to yourself and magically you're going to build trust in yourself. The affirmations are great, but the actions have to follow. You've got to do something to match that affirmation in your actions. So building trust in you means small little actions that, you know, are just outside your comfort zone that are going to help you build trust in you. Number five, identify the fear patterns that are under your overthinking. Where did this start? What are you afraid of? Is it judgment? Is it failure? Is it rejection? What are the limited beliefs you have formed around all of these fears? And how can you start seeing these fears in a different light? These fear patterns are going to be the key to overcoming the overthinking. Number six, learn to let go of control. And this is easier said than done. Your need for control is stemmed in your fears. When you address your fears and all of the patterns connected to them, what I just said in step five, letting go of control is much easier because you learn to start trusting you and your ability to handle anything that comes your way. We want to control every outcome, to know what's going to happen next, and to avoid mistakes at all cost. But life isn't about certainty. It's about flow. It's about trusting yourself and your intuition. You must step into embracing uncertainty. Life is full of unknowns, and that's okay. In fact, it's part of what makes life beautiful. All right, as I wrap this up, I want you to remember this. Overthinking is not who you are, it's not your identity, it's a habit, a pattern, a way of coping with fear and then uncertainty. You have the power to change your thought patterns, to step into action, and to trust yourself and your intuition. This takes time, but it's possible. And if this resonated with you today, take some time to reflect. Ask yourself, what story am I telling myself when I overthink? What am I protecting myself from? Is this story worth keeping? Our answers are all within. We just need to learn how to ask the right questions. And if you are overthinking how to address your overthinking, then I suggest you delegate this process of unwiring all these old patterns. Lead the complex detective work of uncovering old subconscious patterns to experts like us at MBR. We specialize in breaking these patterns down and will guide you through every step needed to address and overcome your overthinking and anxiety. You can find details about the Evolve MBR program by clicking on the Start Here link in the show notes. Remember, your body isn't broken. Your symptoms are the language your body uses to show you what needs to change. When the pattern changes, the body follows. Stay rebellious, trust your body, and I'll see you in the next episode.