#44 Why You're Symptoms Aren't Going Away Despite Trying Everything to Heal

If you've been trying everything to heal but your symptoms still aren't fully resolved, this episode is for you.

Maybe you've changed your diet, taken the supplements, worked with functional medicine practitioners, done the inner work, or even tried nervous system work or brain retraining.

Yet despite everything you've tried, you're still asking...

"Why am I still stuck?"

Or...

"Why aren't my symptoms going away?"

In this episode, you'll discover why the answer may not be another healing technique, but rather the three core subconscious patterns that may be interrupting your body's natural healing process.

If you've been searching for the missing piece, this episode will help you see your healing journey through an entirely new lens.

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Transcript

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If you have found this episode, my guess is you've already done a lot to try to heal. You've changed your diet, taken the supplements, worked with functional medicine practitioners, done the inner work, and maybe even tried nervous system work or brain retraining. Maybe you've made progress. Maybe your anxiety isn't as intense as it once was. Maybe you're sleeping a little better. But despite everything you've tried, you're still not where you want to be. Your symptoms haven't fully resolved. And deep down you're wondering, why am I still stuck? I know that feeling because I've lived it myself. I know what it's like to feel like you're doing everything you possibly can to heal, yet still feel like there's a missing piece that no one has been able to explain. For years I kept asking myself, what in the heck am I missing? I thought the answer was another supplement, so I go buy another one, another practitioner, I'd book another session, another healing technique I would learn, another program I would take. But eventually, I realized I wasn't missing another healing method. I was missing an entirely different way of looking at why my body wasn't healing. And that shift changed everything for me. And it's exactly what I want to share with you today. By the end of this episode, you'll understand why you've stayed stuck despite trying so many different things to try and heal. Why the question isn't, what am I missing, but rather, what is my body responding to? And the three core subconscious patterns that are interrupting your body's natural healing process. Here's the deal: your body is designed to heal. If it isn't healing, it isn't because your body is broken. It's because something is interrupting the healing process. Today we're going to talk about what that something is. So before I go any further, I want to challenge one of the biggest beliefs I see in people with chronic symptoms. And it's a belief that I had to. Maybe you've even caught yourself thinking, why won't my body do what it's supposed to do? Or why can't my body just heal? And if you go online, the whole world is telling you there's something wrong with your body. This isn't working right, your body's attacking itself. We are programmed everywhere we go to think that there is something wrong if we are experiencing symptoms. So the thoughts that we have, like why can't my body just heal, or there must be something wrong with me, it's because we've been taught to believe this. Everywhere you go, that's what you see. We've been taught that a healthy body doesn't have symptoms. So if symptoms continue, the assumption is that something in the body must be wrong, right? But biology tells us something very different. Your body was designed to adapt and return itself back to balance. Every second of every day, it's making countless adjustments to keep you alive and functioning. And that process is called homeostasis. Every symptom your body creates is a response to something. It's your body adapting in an attempt to restore balance. Think about what happens when you cut your finger. You don't have to tell your body to heal it. You don't have to consciously direct new skin cells to grow or tell inflammation when to show up. Your body automatically begins the healing process because that's what it was designed to do. And when that cut is healing, you expect there to be symptoms. You expect it to be red, swollen, tender, and you don't look at those symptoms and think something must be wrong. You recognize them for what they are. Signs that your body is responding exactly the way it was designed to. Now I want you to imagine that every single day you accidentally bump that cut. It's starting to heal, and then it gets bumped open again. It starts to heal again and then it gets bumped open again. The wound doesn't stay open because your body forgot how to heal. It stays open because the healing process keeps getting interrupted. Now ask yourself this. What if chronic symptoms work the exact same way? When you have digestive issues, a skin condition, a stuffy nose, fatigue, chronic pain, or anxiety that doesn't go away? We've been taught to see those symptoms as proof that something is very wrong with us. But what if they're actually telling us something different? What if they're evidence that the healing process keeps getting interrupted, just like that cut getting hit open every single day? That's a completely different way of looking at your symptoms. Instead of asking what's wrong with my body, you begin asking, what is interrupting the healing process? Because if your body is always moving towards balance and if it's biologically designed to heal, then that becomes the only question that really matters. So if your body is designed to heal and the chronic symptoms don't necessarily mean your body is broken, then the obvious question becomes, well, what is interrupting the healing process? And to answer that, we have to understand something that most healing programs never explain. Most people spend their time trying to heal by focusing on the body itself. They focus on symptoms, the nervous system, the gut, the hormones, inflammation, or whatever diagnosis they've been given. Those things all matter, but they're not actually the system making the final decision about healing. Now let me explain what I mean. I want you to imagine you're working for a company and something needs approval. You go to your manager because they're the person you interact with every day, and the manager agrees with you and wants to help, but they don't have the authority to approve the request. Only the CEO can give the final approval. So no matter how many times you ask the manager, nothing changes. Not because the manager isn't important, but because you're asking the wrong person to make the change. Healing works the exact same way. Many of us have spent years trying to convince the manager to change. We've focused on calming the nervous system, reducing symptoms, healing the gut, lowering inflammation, or fixing different parts of the body. Those things all have value, but if they aren't actually making the final decision, it makes sense why the changes are often temporary or why you plateau. The real CEO is your subconscious mind. Your subconscious stores your beliefs, memories, perceptions, life experiences, and automatic patterns. Every second of every day, without you even realizing it, it's constantly evaluating one question. Am I safe or am I not safe? That answer gets passed to your nervous system. Your nervous system responds to that message and your body responds to the nervous system. It's a chain reaction that's happening underneath your conscious awareness every second of every day. This is why I'm so adamant about correcting the belief that is everywhere right now that the nervous system is the root cause. The nervous system is responding to the messages it's receiving from the subconscious, just like your body systems are responding to the nervous system. It is no different than firefighters responding to a fire alarm. The firefighters aren't the problem, they're responding to the alarm in the same way. Your nervous system is responding to the signals coming from your subconscious. So if the subconscious is the system telling the body whether it's safe or not safe, then the next question becomes: what is causing the subconscious to keep sending signals that it isn't safe to heal? After years of working with people with chronic symptoms, I discovered the answer wasn't doing endless pattern work or constant trauma work. It didn't matter what diagnosis someone had. It didn't matter how long they've been having symptoms or what symptoms they were experiencing. Underneath all of those different stories and clients, I kept seeing the same three subconscious patterns over and over again. I call them the three core patterns. They look different from person to person, but the patterns themselves are always the same. And once those patterns are identified and addressed, that's when the healing process can finally continue without constantly being interrupted. Now let's take a look at each of these patterns. The first subconscious pattern has nothing to do with your diagnosis or your symptoms. And it has everything to do with the way that you approach healing. This one surprises people because we naturally assume that the more effort we put into healing, the better our results will be. But sometimes the very way we're trying to heal is unintentionally reinforcing the danger signals our body is responding to. These are what I call healing behavior patterns. They're the automatic ways we approach healing that have become so familiar we don't even question them anymore. For some people, it looks like needing to stay in control of everything. They feel safer when they're monitoring every symptom, following the perfect protocol, and trying to make sure that nothing is being missed. For others, it looks like constantly analyzing. They're always researching, looking for the next answer, trying to understand every symptom and searching for certainty before they can fully commit to anything. And then some people become pleasers. They spend so much energy taking care of everyone else that they rarely stop to ask themselves what they need. They avoid conflict, suppress their emotions, and put themselves last. And others become performers. They push through the exhaustion, keep going no matter how overwhelmed they feel, and they tie their worth to being productive and strong. Now, none of these patterns are bad. In fact, they often helped us survive at some point in our lives. The problem is that the subconscious doesn't interpret constant pressure, hypervigilance, perfectionism, or self-sacrifice as safety. It interprets them as reasons to stay alert. And if the subconscious keeps receiving messages that it isn't safe, the healing process keeps getting interrupted and slowed down. As I've described these patterns, you may recognize yourself in one of them, maybe even several. And that's because most people don't just have one healing behavior pattern. They usually have a combination of them. And those patterns are often running so automatically that they simply feel like your personality. But they're not your personality. They're learned patterns. And if they're learned, they can be changed. The second core pattern is one that almost everyone has. And it's also the one people are most convinced they don't have. It's called a resistance pattern. One of the biggest misconceptions about healing is that if you consciously want to heal, every part of you must want to heal. But that's often not true. Your conscious mind can desperately want to heal while your subconscious perceives healing as unsafe. And that creates what I call a resistance pattern. Resistance patterns are rooted in fear, so they naturally keep the brain in a heightened state of protection. And as long as your brain believes you aren't safe, healing continues to get interrupted. But that is really only part of the story. The biggest thing resistance patterns do is stop you from taking the actions you already know you need to take. They're the reason you know you need to set boundaries, but you don't. You know you need to stop people pleasing, but you keep saying yes. You know you need to have the difficult conversation, maybe ask for help, slow down, leave the unhealthy relationship that you're in, or make the decision that you've been avoiding. But something keeps stopping you. It's because your subconscious perceives those changes as unsafe. So instead, it keeps you in what's familiar. Even if what's familiar is also what's keeping you stuck. For me, this was a huge realization. When I was experiencing chronic symptoms, I wanted my health back more than anything. But when I looked deeper, I realized there was a part of me that was scared. Before I got sick, I was overwhelmed all the time. I was saying yes to everything. I wasn't asking for help. I didn't set boundaries with others, but most of all with myself. And I was carrying the weight of everyone else. So without realizing it, part of me believed that if I got better, I'd end up right back in the same overwhelming life that contributed to me getting sick in the first place. And I didn't want that. And I also didn't know what it looked like to not do those things because it was wired into me since I was a child. So healing to my subconscious didn't feel completely safe, knowing that that was on the other side of healing. My subconscious was trying to protect me from returning to something it believed was dangerous. And I see this all the time. Sometimes people fear that others will expect more from them if they heal. Sometimes they're afraid they'll have to start speaking up, set boundaries, making difficult decisions, or changing relationships. Sometimes they're afraid of trying again and failing. And sometimes they're simply afraid of stepping into a life that they no longer know how to imagine. These aren't conscious decisions. They're subconscious protection. Now, as I've been talking about this, you might have found yourself thinking, I don't think I have any resistance patterns. And that's actually one of the most common responses I hear. Out of all three core patterns, this is the one people tend to have the most resistance towards. After working with thousands of people with chronic symptoms, I have never met a single person who didn't have at least one resistance pattern. And the reason they're so difficult to recognize is because they're subconscious. Your subconscious is designed to keep you safe, not to reveal the very patterns it believes are protecting you. It's incredibly difficult to objectively see the very survival strategies your brain has spent years convincing you are normal, necessary, or simply who you are. And that's why having a coach or a guide can be so valuable. It's not because they heal you, and it's not because you aren't capable of doing the work yourself, but because they often see the blind spots that are almost impossible to recognize from the inside. Many of the biggest breakthroughs I've seen with clients didn't come from, you know, showing them a technique. It came from them recognizing a resistance pattern that they never realized was running in the background. And once they finally see that, that's where they're able to start making changes. Because, you know, we can talk about it all day and we can talk about patterns, but healing isn't just about learning this new information. It's about taking new actions that show your subconscious it's safe. And resistance patterns are often the very thing standing in the way of those actions. So resistance patterns not only keep you in a heightened state because fear is driving those, but they also prevent you from taking the very actions that you need to take to heal. The third subconscious core pattern is what I call symptom-linked patterns. By now we've established that your body is responding to the messages coming from your subconscious. But here's the next question: Why does one person develop digestive issues while another develops migraines, eczema, anxiety, or chronic pain? The answer is that the subconscious doesn't just send out one generic signal because it's all based on perception. Based on what is perceived, the subconscious activates specific brain relays. And those brain relays then communicate with different organs and systems throughout the body, which is why different subconscious patterns can be associated with different symptoms. And this is why symptoms aren't random. They're not random events happening to you, they're biological responses to what your subconscious is perceiving and communicating to your body. So let me give you an example. Let's say someone has eczema. Eczema affects the epidermis layer of the skin, which has a biological connection to separation. Now, knowing that doesn't automatically tell us why someone has eczema. What it does do is give us a place to start asking better questions. Has there been a significant separation? Do they feel disconnected from someone important? Do they miss someone? Or do they want distance from someone but don't feel like they can create it? The perception is always unique to the individual. I remember working with a client whose name was Josie. She had eczema covering much of her body. And as we explored the subconscious patterns connected to her symptoms, we discovered everything traced back to a period in her life when she had been separated from her family. She had been told that there was mold in her home and that it wasn't safe for her to stay there. And it was the reason for all of her symptoms that she was experiencing. So while the rest of the family remained inside the house, she ended up living outside in a tent. And so, from a subconscious perspective, the issue wasn't the mold, it was the overwhelming experience of feeling separated, isolated, and disconnected from the people that she loved. And once she identified and addressed that separation pattern, her eczema resolved. And that's why you don't just ask, how do I get rid of the symptom? Instead, you ask, what is my body responding to? Because when you understand the subconscious pattern your body is responding to, the symptom starts making a lot of sense. And instead of fighting your body, you become curious about what it's been trying to communicate all along. And that's exactly why this third pattern matters and is part of the three core patterns. This cannot be missed or skipped. All three of these patterns are key. And if we only focus on eliminating the symptom without understanding the subconscious pattern connected to it, we're often trying to silence the messenger without addressing the message. So hopefully you can now see why so many people stay stuck even after trying so many different healing approaches. It's not because you haven't tried hard enough, and it's not because your body doesn't know how to heal. It's because the specific subconscious patterns your body is responding to were never fully identified or addressed. Your healing behavior patterns shape the way you approach healing. Your resistance patterns stop you from taking the very actions that would show your subconscious it's safe. And your symptom link patterns continue activating the same biological responses in the body. Although these three patterns look very different, they all have one thing in common. They continue communicating the same message to the subconscious. It's not safe. And as long as those patterns continue running, your subconscious continues sending the same instructions to the brain. The brain continues communicating the same instructions to the body, and your body continues responding in the same way. When those patterns aren't identified, it's easy to assume the answer is to keep looking for something else. I see so many people doing random subconscious work, jumping from one healing protocol to another, or trying to do everything all at once. And before long, healing starts to feel like a full-time job. But healing really doesn't have to be this complicated. The truth is you need a healing strategy that's focused on your three core subconscious patterns. That's exactly what I focused on to resolve my chronic symptoms. And it's the same process we use with every client we work with. We aren't chasing a dozen of different techniques. We aren't trying to fix every single thing that we see because every problem we see are connected to these three core patterns. Our entire focus is identifying and addressing the three core subconscious patterns that are interrupting the healing process. Because when those patterns begin to change, your subconscious begins receiving a different message one that says it's safe. And that's what gives your body the green light to heal.